golf is one of those sports that looks down its nose at you.
golf lives in country clubs and collects rent in memberships. golf likes to be associated with terms like high class, exclusive, executive, private and famous. golf demands course etiquette, collared shirts, special balls and specialty clubs. in return, golf will punish the amateur and puzzle the professional. golf welcomes the ladies and the gentlemen but it prefers the rich and the wealthy.
i learned to play golf when i was young and flexible, innocent and careless. i learned the sport with the tunnel vision of a child. in other words, the pretentiousness of golf was never a primary impression. as an adult, i realize how lucky i was to have escaped the impressions that you need to have the latest this and the newest that to be any good. at the same time, i realize how unfair it is that i have played a long time and never afforded myself any fancy fairway irons, a pricey putter or the cutting edge technology in tees.
when i win the lottery i will buy myself all the golf gear that is supposed to make you good. since i consider myself already a little bit good then all the gear that is supposed to make you good- will in fact- make me great.
when i win the lottery and have backyards big enough, i will landscape my own driving range. included would be my own machine that dispenses Titleist 1 balls in perfect proportions of small and large buckets.
when i win the lottery i will buy my dad all the golf gear that is supposed to make you good as well as a golf course of his own somewhere near seattle. i will buy him a second home near an eighteenth tee in california, a third home near a first hole in south carolina, a fourth home near a clubhouse in arizona, a fifth home next to a tee box in las vegas- all on famous, private, executive, exclusive golf courses near all of his daughters across the country. and i will say thank you for teaching me to play golf.